Ranking: Submissions ranked according to votes for "Your Life Really Sucks!"
Today, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday. I invited all her friends to her place as part of a surprise party. Around 8PM, her door opened and we heard a man’s voice, “I want you so bad right now.” My girlfriend said, “we’re going to celebrate just the two of us, that bastard forgot my birthday and went to go watch football with his buddies.” Life Sucks!
Your life really sucks! (73)
You deserve it! (33)
Today, at my flight attendant job, I saw a man, clearly drunk, struggling with his armrest. I asked if he needed anything and he said a screwdriver. I brought him a Phillips-head, and he looked at me and said, "What would you have brought me if I had asked for a Bloody Mary, you half-wit?" Life Sucks!
Today, I overdosed on crazy glue. I fell asleep with 3 tubes in my mouth & passed out w/ my mouth glued shut. I was rushed to the hospital and had my lips pried open w/ a chisel & ball-peen hammer. When I woke up, the Doc said, "Son, are you hooked on crazy glue?" I said, "No. I'm stuck." Life sucks
Today, I was on my first date with a girl I've had a crush on for ages. I had to sneeze and held my nose but not tightly enough - snot flew out onto my hand. As I was thinking of a way to get it off without her noticing, she made her first move and grabbed my hand. Life Sucks!
Today, I tried to impress a friend by taking the top of her beer with my teeth. A tooth broke, and her white skirt was splashed with blood and beer... The worst is that the beer is still not open. Life sucks!
Today, I was thinking about how, as a teen, I had a vaginal discharge, a result of puberty for some girls. My mother used to take my panties and shove them into my friend's faces to show them what a pig I was to stain my panties in that way. Life Sucks!
Today, I've gotten rejected by yet another guy. It took me months and months to get over my ex-boyfriend, who broke my heart and ruined my life. Finally, I met someone great who could make me forget him. Now, after 2 awesome times spent together...he's stopped calling. Life Sucks!
Today, I had a horrible evening. I was really upset and it took hours for me to fall asleep. After I finally did, I woke up and heard something. I looked and saw my dog lifting his leg and peeing all over my carpet and my door. I had to go clean it and couldn't fall asleep again for ages. Life Sucks!
