Your life sucks? Say it!

Today, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday. I invited all her friends to her place as part of a surprise party. Around 8PM, her door opened and we heard a man’s voice, “I want you so bad right now.” My girlfriend said, “we’re going to celebrate just the two of us, that bastard forgot my birthday and went to go watch football with his buddies.” Life Sucks!

Today, I was on my first date with a girl I've had a crush on for ages. I had to sneeze and held my nose but not tightly enough - snot flew out onto my hand. As I was thinking of a way to get it off without her noticing, she made her first move and grabbed my hand. Life Sucks!

Today, I've gotten rejected by yet another guy. It took me months and months to get over my ex-boyfriend, who broke my heart and ruined my life. Finally, I met someone great who could make me forget him. Now, after 2 awesome times spent together...he's stopped calling. Life Sucks!

Today, my girlfriend left me for a guy she met on World of Warcraft. Life Sucks!

Today, after a battery of tests, I’ve learned that I’m sterile. My wife just told me she’s pregnant with our second child…I think I have some questions to ask her. Life Sucks!

Today, I got two texts from my girlfriend. The first one was her telling me that our relationship was over, and the second was to say that she’d sent it to the wrong person. Life Sucks!

Today, I just received 2 texts from my husband. The first, 9:54: “don’t wait up for me tonight, too much work, i won’t be done until late, xoxo luv u” The second, 9:58: “i’ve been dreaming of this moment with you for so long. don’t worry about my wife i told her i’m working late, luv u" Life Sucks!

Today, no in fact for the last two years, I have been in a long-distance relationship. We see each other for one week during each school vacation. It works really well. Except that there has not been ONE SINGLE WEEK that we’ve seen each other where I haven’t been having my period. Life Sucks!