Ranking: Submissions ranked according to votes for "Your Life Really Sucks!"
Today, at my flight attendant job, I saw a man, clearly drunk, struggling with his armrest. I asked if he needed anything and he said a screwdriver. I brought him a Phillips-head, and he looked at me and said, "What would you have brought me if I had asked for a Bloody Mary, you half-wit?" Life Sucks!
Your life really sucks! (73)
You deserve it! (10)
Today, I was on my way to work. I was walking down the steps of the subway, and tripped, cutting my leg and ripping my pants. Nobody asked if I was all right and everyone just stepped around and over me. When I got up, I got pushed onto the train by the crowd. I am at work with bloody, torn pants. Life Sucks!
Today, I robbed a store. Racing down the street, I saw a cop’s lights flashing behind me. Scared, I tried to turn, but ended up wrapping my car around a pole. Crawling from the wreckage, a cop pointed a gun at me, saying, “You’re lucky to be alive.” I said, “Let me think that one over.” Life sucks!
Today, I went to a written test for a job interview. Unfortunately, my pen ran out of ink. Running into the corridor, I ask urgently for a pen to an employee in order to fill my test. I think I'm the only one who has filled his whole test with pink ink. Life sucks!
Today, I lost my 14th job in two years for the same reason that I always get fired - Sleeping in and showing up late. I probably deserve it, but hey, I can't help it! Life Sucks!
Today, I wanted to show off for my coworkers by showing them how I could remotely operate the webcam at my house. Then, we all learned together that I’m being cheated on. I don’t know yet whether I’ll be getting a divorce but I’m sure I’m not going to show off my technology skills again. Life Sucks!
Today, I went fishing and had a great time. A great day, really sunny. Such a nice day, in fact, that a local news crew decided to do a story there. I'm apparently quite telegenic, my boss says. My beer, too. Too bad I had called out sick...Life Sucks!
Today, I'm 22, I missed the deadline last year to get money for college this year, so I have to spend another year working at my low paying dead-end job. I have no friends because I'm stuck in a very high-class town and I'm very poor. So people frown upon me. Life sucks.
