Your life sucks? Say it!

Today, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday. I invited all her friends to her place as part of a surprise party. Around 8PM, her door opened and we heard a man’s voice, “I want you so bad right now.” My girlfriend said, “we’re going to celebrate just the two of us, that bastard forgot my birthday and went to go watch football with his buddies.” Life Sucks!

Today, when making love to my wife, I felt like I was cheating on my mistress. Life Sucks!

Today, it's my anniversary. On the beside table, I found what looked like a set of plane tickets. Surprised and excited, I opened the sleeve. It's divorce papers, folded nicely inside with a post-it on top: "I know you're sleeping with my boss." Life Sucks!

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend by text message. He just replied, "well, ok." I don't understand, shouldn't he be begging at my feet telling me he can't live without me? Life Sucks!

Today, I left my girlfriend of close to two years and a relationship that was going great for a secret crush I had on a colleague. It turns out the colleague is really into S&M. Life Sucks!

Today, I started dating this girl but she just broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years and "doesn't want anything long-term" The thing is, we hang out a lot but are not having sex, thus doing everything a long-term couple would do without the advantages that even a short-term one would get. Bummer. Life Sucks!

Today, I was on my first date with a girl I've had a crush on for ages. I had to sneeze and held my nose but not tightly enough - snot flew out onto my hand. As I was thinking of a way to get it off without her noticing, she made her first move and grabbed my hand. Life Sucks!

Today, my ex called me, asking if he could come over. I really needed to get over him, so I said, "No, I'm in the train, I'm going to my grandmother's for a week, sorry." He says, "But I'm calling your home phone." After a few seconds of silence, I hung up. Life Sucks!