Ranking: Submissions ranked according to votes for "You Deserve It!"
Today, my date's car got towed due to my advice - I told her it was okay to park there. Most expensive date ever...Life Sucks!
Your life really sucks! (27)
You deserve it! (51)
Today, my girlfriend was trying to get ahold of me by calling my cell. The problem was, I left the house in a bit of a hurry and left it at home. She called and asked, "so when are you coming over, babe?" But it was my wife who picked up the phone. Life Sucks!
Today, I stole some ski gloves. There was a whole binful of them, so I turned my back to the bin and put a pair into the back pocket of my jeans. All good, until a security guard came up to me. I ran, not realizing that the gloves were all attached to one another and trailing behind me. Life Sucks!
Today, the girl I have a crush on called me out of the blue. She asked me to hang out. I took her to dinner, and she asked if I wanted to chill at her place...I was too nervous to do much other than watch TV. Life Sucks!
Today, I tried to impress a friend by taking the top of her beer with my teeth. A tooth broke, and her white skirt was splashed with blood and beer... The worst is that the beer is still not open. Life sucks!
Today, I was late for a job interview. Unkempt & wearing an ill-fitting suit, the interviewer said to me, "Though you are unhandsome, this misfortune doesn’t confer a right to appear disheveled. Any respect for my opinion would require you to mitigate nature's failure by dressing well." Life sucks!
Today, I had a horrible evening. I was really upset and it took hours for me to fall asleep. After I finally did, I woke up and heard something. I looked and saw my dog lifting his leg and peeing all over my carpet and my door. I had to go clean it and couldn't fall asleep again for ages. Life Sucks!
Today, I went to lunch with a vegan friend, who thought I too was a staunch vegan. Starving, I ordered cold chicken breast with fries. She said, “How can you eat that?” I said, “I’ve never been an ‘according to Hoyle’ vegan: I don’t like card games and I do like chicken.” She walked out. Life sucks!
